President Barack Obama directly sanctioned 11 Russian and Ukrainian officials Monday, the latest escalation in the ongoing crisis in Crimea — and the president’s latest attempt to make good on his repeated threats of additional costs on Russians for the situation.
Speaking from the White House, he warned that he’s prepared to go even further if Russian President Vladimir Putin doesn’t reverse course on Crimea.
When asked for comment, as soon as he could get his hysterical laughter under control, Vladimir Putin responded:
Russia gave its clearest signal yet Monday that it plans to move fast to annex Crimea, and then brushed off sanctions imposed by the U.S. and European Union after the breakaway Ukrainian region passed a referendum to secede.
On being appraised of this response, Obama replied:
If that big old meanie Putin doesn’t start listening to me, I’m going to make poopy in my sharp Mom Jeans.