For the Idiots Who Think Snowden Should Have Gone to Congress With His Whistleblowing
Bill Quick

A favorite trope among the stupid and naive is that Snowden has revealed himself to be a Russian tool/spy because he went to them for safety from the US government, rather than going to, say, Rand Paul.

Most of this argument is too idiotic to long contemplate, but just for drill, let’s do so.

  1. Snowden attempts to get in touch with Rand Paul via…what? Email that he knows is compromised? A phone call to a number that the NSA watches over?

  2. Okay, he flies to Washington, D.C. and presents himself to Senator Paul’s office, where a low-level receptionist tells him that he cannot speak to anybody but her unless he states the reason for wishing to speak to the Senator.

  3. He finally states that he works for the NSA, and it is a matter of national security.

  4. This gets him an audience with an actual staffer – probably not Paul’s Chief of Staff, but some sort of mid-level vetting person.

  5. The staffer wants to know what’s up. Snowden finally says, “The NSA is illegally spying on the American people.”

  6. Staffer raises eyebrows. “You have proof of this?”

  7. Snowden: Perhaps.

  8. Staffer: What kind of proof?

  9. Snowden: I’ll tell that to Senator Paul and nobody else.

  10. Staffer leaves, goes to Paul’s Chief of Staff. “Some guy from NSA in the office to see the Senator. Says he’s a whistleblower. Says his agency is illegally spying on Americans. Says he’s got proof, but won’t tell me what.”

  11. Chief of Staff whistled. “Shit on cornbread. If he’s got actual proof, he probably stole top secret stuff from NSA. We can’t let the Senator get within twenty miles of stuff like that. Not with his campaign for the White House in 2016 about ready to roll.”

  12. Staffer: What if it’s true?

  13. Chief: Shakes head. “Doesn’t matter. If this guy stole top secret documents, then they’ll make him out to be a traitor, no matter how high-minded his motives are. Not to mention he’s probably broken a zillion federal laws. We can’t have the Senator stuck to a tar-baby like that.”

  14. Staffer. “Christ. So what do we do? The guy’s right outside.”

  15. Chief: “Let me make a phone call or two.”

  16. Staffer’s office. Two men in dark suits enter. “Mr. Snowden?”

  17. “Yes?”

  18. “You’re under arrest. Come with us, please.”

  19. And that would be the last the world would ever hear of Edward Snowden – or, to be accurate – not hear.

Anybody who thinks some other scenario would play out is a clueless, pathetically naive, suicidally idiotic dumbass. And anybody who thinks a judge could, or would, let Congress wave top secret documents stolen by Snowden around like flags is even stupider. But beyond even that, anybody who thinks that Congress would actually try to do anything effective about plans and programs they have their own sticky fingers all over is, well, in dire need of constant emails to remind them to keep breathing.

Bill Quick

About Bill Quick

I am a small-l libertarian. My primary concern is to increase individual liberty as much as possible in the face of statist efforts to restrict it from both the right and the left. If I had to sum up my beliefs as concisely as possible, I would say, "Stay out of my wallet and my bedroom," "your liberty stops at my nose," and "don't tread on me." I will believe that things are taking a turn for the better in America when married gays are able to, and do, maintain large arsenals of automatic weapons, and tax collectors are, and do, not.


For the Idiots Who Think Snowden Should Have Gone to Congress With His Whistleblowing — 4 Comments

  1. There is, of course, another aspect to consider – why did he go to the Russians?

    Why not…say…the Chinese – or the Germans – or the Japanese – or any number of other non-Western nations of similar size that have reason to suspect – and to desire the termination of – NSA covert and continuous surveillance of their own internal affairs?

    If he really wanted to wreak destructive havoc upon the U.S.’s alleged anti-terrorist efforts, why not simply go have a chat with Iran?

    Wouldn’t the Chinese be better-disposed to reward him handsomely for his supposed “treachery” and “perfidy”?

    Or is it that he primarily wanted to be – in general – safely beyond the reach of U.S.-based “alphabet” agencies who would try to “disappear” him, in a place that’s not going to turn him over to the U.S. Gubment people trying to lay hold of him, while not actually delivering any great amount of material that could be used to seriously damage the U.S.’s foreign-intelligence-gathering capabilities where actual terrorism and terrorists are concerned?

  2. Bingo. It’s not where Snowden physically went. The important thing is where did the info go. If the Govt of another country did not get any info, who cares where he went. If they did get the info then that is different.

    At this time can we really know what happened to the data.

    • Well, we know a significant amount of it went to Glenn Greenwald. Of course, the usual whackjobs think he’s a traitor, too. In fact, anybody who sees anything at all wrong with the works and deeds of the United States government is a traitor.

      “My country, right or wrong” is an infantile prescription for tyranny, but far too many think it is an admirable admonition. May they rot in the hellhole such sentiments generally result in.