Porcupine, The Weaponized Flashlight: Blinding, Slashing, Worrying

Okay, the flashlight machine gun was alarming enough, but now there’s also the Pentagon Porcupine weaponized flashlight. A kind of all-in-one gadget for the frightened, it can help you find your car keys if you drop them in the dark, and/or blind and wound an attacker. Or victim, for that matter.

The eye-dazzling power comes from a 70 lumen xenon bulb, which is powerful even while it’s no maxablaster, while the spiky bezel is sharpened “more than ordinary crenellated bezels” for slashing and stabbing action. The spikes are retractable, so you can safely slip this into a pocket, we guess. In olive drab, for that extra “military” chic, the 4.8 oz 5-inch flashlight will give 60 minutes of continuous light from its batteries.

I’ve got no idea who’d carry this creepy thing around: I guess you’d have to be pretty scared indeed if something like this in your bag made you feel safer. But, if you’re really into personal protection, it’s available for $129. [Pentagonlight via Wired gadgets]

In case you’re wondering where the mother-lode of namby-pansy gun-fearing wussiness comes from, behold it here in all its florid, fevered glory.

Only “frightened” people would want a flashlight that might be useful in self-defense. It’s a “creepy thing,” and you’d “have to be pretty scared indeed” to even think such a thing might make you feel safer (than what? Having cops perpetually five minutes away when you actually need them?).

This jittery moron of a reporter is scared of everything - and she (I presume it’s a she, though it could just as easily be some sort of feminized male) in turn projects her own fear into sneering condescension aimed at anybody who might take proactive steps (like buying this flashlight or - heaven forfend - an evil gun) in their own self-defense.

Man, how miserable this poor scab must feel, knowing that in order to be ideologically and politically correct, she must depend entirely upon the kindness of strangers for her very existence.

Pathetic. (via Instapundit)

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